laying down my life

challenged.

"What I'm interested in seeing you do is:

sharing your food with the hungry,

inviting the homeless poor into your homes,

putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,

being available to your own families.

Do this and the lights will turn on,

and your lives will turn around at once.

Your righteousness will pave your way.

The God of glory will secure your passage.

Then when you pray, God will answer.

You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'

If you get rid of unfair practices,

quit blaming victims,

quit gossiping about other people's sins,

If you are generous with the hungry

and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,

Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,

your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.

I will always show you where to go.

I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—"

isaiah 58 msg

..free.

finally hearing God's word speak louder in my life than my own

and another who would love nothing more than to keep me bound..

that when He says..."..do not be afraid.."

i can walk free from fear because He is with me.

it's a choice.

and i choose to fix my eyes on Him and His word.

..and it's stinkin AWESOME! :)

an extra measure of grace poured over me for my weakness.

i want all He has for me.

and in order for that...

i must let go of the past.

of my fears.

...and Trust.

..He's more than worthy of all of me.

He's proven His faithfulness (when He never had to)..

over and over again.

all my trust, security and confidence is in Him.

where He leads me, I will follow.

not always easy or free from hurt.

but always with Him right by my side.

"..be strong and courageous,

do not be afraid or discouraged

 for the Lord, your God will be with you

whereever you go.."

joshua 1:9

..God, you are so faithful.

this is the closest i've been to seeing my dreams, within reach of coming true..

all the pain,

all the persevering through,

all the times of holding on with no end in sight.

 the tears cried with a broken heart,

You filled me with faith to believe beyond the present moment.

the times of looking to you with hope-filled eyes,

believing in the One making promises to my heart

-and holding onto those, even as my world was crashing around me.

and here i stand, healed and whole.

many promises fulfilled, just as you said.

(and more i hold in my heart)

i'm in awe of all You are,

overwhelmed by all your goodness.

thankful for the fire that refined my faith.

i'm here left saying the same i did in the midst of the storms,

...God, you are so faithful.

"..i will lead the blind by ways they have not known,

along unfamiliar paths i will guide them;

i will turn darkness into light before them

and make the rough places smooth.

these are the things i will do;

i will not forsake them."

Isaiah 42:16 niv

a father's impact on his daughter

I found an article that I had gotten over ten years ago. I read through it again this morning and thought I would share...

"Father's have an incalculable impact on their daughters. Many believe all future romantic relationships to occur in a girl's life will be influenced positively or negatively by the way she perceives and interacts with her dad. If he rejects and ignores her, she will spend her life trying to replace him in her heart. If he is warm and nurturing, she will look for a lover equal to him. If he thinks she is beautiful, worthy and feminine, she will be inclined to see herself that way. But if he thinks she is unattractive and uninteresting, she is likely to carry self-esteem problems into her adult years.

I have also observed that a woman's respect for her husband is significantly influenced by the way she perceived her father. If he was overbearing and uncaring during her developmental years, she may disrespect her husband and question his judgement. But if a dad blended love and leadership in a way that conveyed strength, she will be more likely to live harmoniously with him."

Now although I can see this all being true, I do not believe it is final. God is more than able to redeem, restore and become all our earthly father is not. There is no perfect parent, but God! He's the perfect father who accepts us even when our mother and father reject us- Ps 27:10. Many times though, we will view God the father through tainted eyes because of the view we have of our earthly father. Whatever that may look like for you, for everyone it is different, we must find who He truly is and take to heart what He says about us. He is loving, present and very much interested in every detail of the lives of His children. He is not silent but longs to speak to our hearts and draw us ever so closely to him. He's a good daddy God!

Ps 45:10,11 "Listen! Oh daughter, consider & give ear; forget your people & your fathers house..for the KING is Entralled by your Beauty"

Isaiah 62 (the message)
Regarding Zion, I can't keep my mouth shut, regarding Jerusalem, I can't hold my tongue,

Until her righteousness blazes down like the sun
and her salvation flames up like a torch.
Foreign countries will see your righteousness,
and world leaders your glory.
You'll get a brand-new name
straight from the mouth of God.
You'll be a stunning crown in the palm of God's hand,
a jeweled gold cup held high in the hand of your God.
No more will anyone call you Rejected,
and your country will no more be called Ruined.
You'll be called Hephzibah (My Delight),
and your land Beulah (Married),
Because God delights in you
and your land will be like a wedding celebration.
For as a young man marries his virgin bride,
so your builder marries you,
And as a bridegroom is happy in his bride,
so your God is happy with you.
I've posted watchmen on your walls, Jerusalem.
Day and night they keep at it, praying, calling out,
reminding God to remember.
They are to give him no peace until he does what he said,
"Tell daughter Zion, 'Look! Your Savior comes,
Ready to do what he said he'd do,
prepared to complete what he promised.'"
Zion will be called new names: Holy People, God-Redeemed,
Sought-Out, City-Not-Forsaken.

forever thankful

A note from Jesus: ISAIAH 61

God has sent me on a mission.

I have some great news for you.

God has sent me to restore and release something.

And that something is You.

I am here to give you back your heart and set you free.

I am furious at the Enemy who did this to you,

and I will fight against him.

Let me Comfort you.

For, dear one,

I will bestow beauty upon you where you have known only devastation.

Joy, in the places of your deep sorrow.

And I will robe your heart in thankful Praise!

I remember when I first read this.. I stood there, at that time, in all my brokenness & self destruction...and my heart enlarged. I remember the feeling of hope that arose on the inside of me. Could it really be that there was One who had come for me, one who sought me out from the beginning of time, who knew all of the hurt endured, tears cried and all the fearful moments. One who longed to fight back for me, who saw worth in me to restore back what had been lost and stolen. One much greater and bigger than anything I had ever known before, who didn't see me in light of all my flaws, failures and sin but instead saw me through the eyes of mercy and grace. Not who or what I was but who He created me to be. In this moment of time, the King met me here, He picked me up from the mess I was in, cleaned me off and began to speak so tenderly to my broken heart. Little by little, He healed; piece by piece He replaced my brokenness and made me whole. He went to the places no one would venture to go because of fear but not Him- He came boldly for me. My knight in shining armor.  All that I thought was lost and too far gone, Jesus restored back to better than it could have ever been or imagined before. He restored an innocence in me that I had never known. In His eyes, I was white as snow and in time, I began to believe it too.  The heaviness, guilt and bondage I was trapped in for so long was gone. I found true freedom. Freedom from my past, my past that didn't have to define me or my future any longer. Because I came from brokenness, didn't mean I had to be broken forever. Jesus drew a line in the sand for me. He redeemed my life from a deep pit and made me new. All of which, I was so undeserving. But by His beautiful grace and mercy, He didn't see me or my worthiness, He saw Jesus, who paid my debt before I was ever created. The fullness of the cross brought me life. My words could never fully express the thankfulness, passion and love my heart holds for Him. I know fully the depth He brought me from. He ushered me into His light so I would no longer have to walk in darkness. Now free from shame and guilt, I walk in newness and freedom that is offered to me every new morning.

"...she who has been forgiven of much, will love much." Luke 7:47

he cares about the details.

so refreshing to know God himself cares for each and every detail of our lives.

"...he determined the times and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being."

Acts 17:26-28

aside from all my insecurities and doubt, i know i am who i am by the grace of a loving God, who amazingly enough - is for me, for us all.

this morning i was writing and began to pray that my life would truly be an offering to him. my heart longs to be pure and laid out before the Lord. God, all i want is what you want. my delight is You and my desire is for your perfect will. nothing more counts for anything. You alone are my everything and without you I am nothing.

praying my life would reflect Him in every way.

beyond blessed

my heart is so filled... I'm in a season where, by God's grace, I've found such contentment right where I am and with all I have. I don't have all the things in the world, but I know I've been given all I need. Yes, there are things I dream of and desire for one day. But I know God is sovereign and so faithful. I trust in His love for me and that He doesn't withhold good things but delights in giving the desires of my heart as well. He placed them within me and I know when He's ready and knows that I am, all will come to pass just as it should and be beautiful, in His time. A timing I have deep trust in.

It's so easy to loose track and get caught up in what we do not have, that we miss all we have been blessed with. Why would we be blessed with more when we can't even recognize and be thankful for all the things we do have? I'm guilty. But thankful for His grace. So in this season, my eyes have been opened to all I'm surrounded by and wow, it is good. I'm so greatful. When you're filled with a thankful heart, and measure all the blessings you do have, suddenly it doesn't feel you're missing out on so much.

I'm blessed:

I'm surrounded by a huge family that loves and supports both me and Kaylie more than I could ever ask for. We've been through so much, but nothing could separate the love we have for one another.

I have the most wonderful mom and although we don't always see eye to eye, I know she loves me and is in prayer for me and Kaylie daily. She has no other intention but good.

We have 9 healthy babies in our family that have never had to go with out.

God has truly done such a beautiful, redeeming work in my whole family. I've been so blessed to see the harvest from seeds of prayer sown.

I was blessed with a car! (completely free)

I have a roof over my head and always food to eat.

I have the most beautiful little girl who lights up my world. ..

Just today we were riding in the car, dancing to her favorite song and I looked in my rear view to see her with the biggest smile on her face. Priceless moments.

I have friends who are rock solid and have loyally walked with me through my darkest of times and I with them.They daily bring joy to my life through encouragement, love and silent laughs. (favorite)

I could go on forever. Our blessings are truly countless.So thankful!

..the closer to the Lord we get, the more of our true selves we become. as we seek Him and find more of Him, we become more at peace with who we are and who He's created us to be. it's such a beautiful exchange. as we grow closer, He begins to reveal things in and through us, walls come down and our hearts are revealed and refined in His presence. a quiet confidence comes from finding ourselves in the very One who created us.

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are, no more and no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought." Matt 5:5 message

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"let the morning bring word of your unfailing love, for i have put my trust in you. show me the way i should go, for to You i lift up my soul."- Psalm 143:8

,,,saturday morning i took a little walk...coffee, the word and my english bulldog, lucy. i went to my favorite little place right next to my house...it's tucked away in a little nook..open grass encircled by trees.. i walked, thanking Him for his goodness to me. so many times i rarely get moments to just stop and slow down long enough to gaze at His glory in the nature around me.. but it's my absolute favorite. his beauty outside literally captures my heart-i love it. as i sat there, i looked up and the wind lightly blew and leaves slowly fell above and all around me..it was breath taking. the stillness of my soul and the peace in that moment, i knew His presence was there. it's in those moments that all my worries and striving come to a standstill, and i know with out a doubt i'm in the hands of my creator...knowing i'm right where he wants me to be in that moment of time. i'm reminded of His faithfulness that has proven time and time again, even when it hurts. i've learned He's worthy of all our trust, adoration and devotion. He never changes, He's everlasting, constant and the sure anchor of hope we can cling to when our world is shaken. He's the only one who will never fail us and when we look to Him, our hope will not be disappointed.

even with all that i am not, all that i fail at time and time again, i'm so very thankful for all
He is and that it's more than enough to cover my every weakness. and in the light of all that He is, i'm ok with being so small.

His strength is made so perfect in our weakness.

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...hunger...

...stay with me if you will....
                   yesterday morning, i was getting dressed and realized i was way past the point of hunger, to where my stomach was hurting and i felt sick. with having a child and from the busyness of the day, there are times i hardly stop to eat and easily look over the little groaning in my stomach. before i know it, there's a huge craving in me that i would literally put anything in my mouth just to satisfy the discomfort and hunger in my belly...whether it be healthy for me or not. i'm normally a pretty healthy eater but in those moments, i tend not to care because i just want to be filled again... satisfied. as i was thinking on this, i thought- if i would just take the time to pause from the non stop lifestyle and refuel- how much better off i would be... when i feed myself with the right nutrients; i'm full, satisfied, not aching for something more.
                  and then it hit me, i reflected on how at times that mirrored my spiritual walk. there are times i get so caught up in life, i ignore my spiritual hunger. at times, i'll get so deprived of that filling that can only come from time in the presence of our sweet Jesus, and my heart aches for something more. when our soul gets to the point of starvation, we are so anxious to be satisfied again, that we're willing to reach to anyone or anything to fill it. and then we end up reaching for more and more because of the dissatisfaction it leaves us with and it literally drains life from that person or things we're reaching to and even still, we're left lifeless. hungry. dry. aching for something more.


luke  4:13-15...."...everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water i give him will never thirst. indeed the water i give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. then the woman said to him,'' Sir give me this water so that i won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water..."


                   i'm challenged to stay filled, to listen to my heart cry and go to the only one who can satisfy. there is something about the Spirit of God that fills and satisfies every part of my being. the Creator meeting with the created. it's a oneness and closeness that can hardly be put to words. the sweet presence of Jesus. the Comforter. Counselor. Friend. there's nothing like Him.

song recommendation: Audra Lynn "Wellspring"

LOVE!

Kristy

I just read this. WOW .. I'm just shaken, convicted and challenged by it.

Galatians 5:16-25 (The Message)
16-18My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

19-21It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.


22-23But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

23-24Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

25-26Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.

a man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

                                                                                  proverbs 19:11

in your presence

in the midst of your presence, suddenly i'm released from all my worry, doubt, striving and hiding. in a moment here with you, my heart overflows with trust and a deep sense of security. in the light of your glory, i stand humbled and in awe, that your goodness and strength is so great, that i'm at peace with being so small. it's when i draw near to you and all you are, that i become okay and unaware of all i am not, and more sure of who you've made me (uniquely) to be. and in the gaze of your faithful love, hope arises and fills every part of me, knowing-oneday- it'll all be worth it.

that there will be a day when all the pieces come together... the unknown, become known. the why's, answered. every tear, wiped away. all confusion, at peace. when the Faithful one comes and covers all. joy restored and all redeemed. the One all my hope's in and forever had faith in, right before me, is now my sight. ah... for that day, i await.

"though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious Joy! for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your soul."

1 peter 1:8

-kristy

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" (doubt) are like wind-whipped waves..(being tossed about at sea). Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.

Don't let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, "God is trying to trip me up." God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one's way. The temptation to give in to evil comes from us and only us. We have no one to blame but the leering, seducing flare-up of our own lust. Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin! Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer.

So, my very dear friends, don't get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures.

.................................

Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God's righteousness doesn't grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.

Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.

But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.

~James 1 message

..the woman with a past...

Luke 7:36-50

....the woman with a past who wept at the feet of Jesus with such adoration and love.. the woman who knew where she had come from, tried everything the world had to offer, and was left exhausted by everything she had for so long chased after...the woman who then finally met and fell in love with her Savior, the One who truly free'd her from it all.

i'm taken back to the familiar feeling of being so tired of everything i tried clinging to letting me down and not filling the deep need of my heart.. to the point of frustration and disgust with myself- that i was done.. falling to the feet of Jesus and surrendering it all. i relate to this woman so much.. when i read her story, i easily picture myself. being that woman with a past, and knowing the depth of my bondage and all the struggles within myself, brought me to Jesus... and with one touch from Him, i was forever changed. my life of guilt, shame and sin was completely forgiven and washed clean when i met Him. this Man that i had heard of since i was a child but could never understand.. until i desired to know Him, and when i searched, i found Him. the power of knowing the fullness of Him, His love for me and experiencing His presence fully engaged to every part of me- knowing me to my core- and still loving and wanting me. this man, Jesus, who lived a completely perfect, blameless walk, died a death so brutal... all for me, because He loves me and longs for my freedom. when i was so disobedient, chasing after things of this world and my own desires-- He lived obediently, even to the point of death, so i (we) could be free and once again with our Father..so that Nothing could seperate us from His love. a love like this i've never known.

i was once bound to a self destructive lifestyle, trapped and enslaved to the hurt within myself and now, i walk in freedom bc of the love of my Jesus. much love and passion flows from this heart that knows Him. i now live my life, in complete surrender, passionately in love with the One who saved me.

".....she who has been forgiven of much, will love much." Luke 7:47

...some oldies...

Day 22 continues to 23

the past 21 days have absolutely wrecked my life. God is so good. He's taught me so much; probably one of the most surreal "potter-clay molding" moments yet. i feel layed out before the Lord, in complete surrender to Him. every aspect of my life was placed at His feet in complete devotion to Him, saying God it's yours. my heart longs nothing more than the will of my Father. i want to honor and please Him with every part of my being, every area of my life. i committed my finances to Him and through His guidance, i'm building a future for me and Kaylie. so excited, i will be debt free this year!! i'm learning a more frugal way of living, joining in on iheartpublix.com and infamous couponing! my first grocery trip with coupons, i bought $63 worth of groceries, saved $36 and only spent $27!! i left there beaming with excitement (it's the little things). whew, i can do this!

i also am learning to better parent by the perfect parent Himself. Miss Kaylie Faith is coming up on the big 5 in July and her little self has shown quite the attitude (rolling her eyes, "just whatever mom", morning fits about what she's going to where, and oh those "little white lies") Father help me. so much frustration was building in me bc this is the first time i've faced these challenges and i felt like i was failing. for me, in the baby stages... it's natural to feed, nuture, love and cuddle my precious baby girl. my weakness- discipline! i've found myself in moments of desperation wanting to ball my eyes out, saying God what do i do?!  i never complain about being a single mom bc we truly have so much support and love that i know we are beyond blessed! i (we) have a huge support system around us that is rock solid, i have the greatest family ever. with that said, it's hard trying to be both mom and dad. i'm not dad, i'm not meant to be. i have to be the very best version of mommy that i know God's created me to be and allow God to fill the role of Father in her life. i'm reading Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp,. it's a hard read for me bc of the stretching that's taking place but i know that i'm learning so much and the benefits are already showing from that. last night, she came in and got ready for bed, put her dirty clothes in the hamper and her shoes up in her closet, without ever being told!! YES LORD!! (it was rewarding to see, i had such a proud mommy moment).
the book teaches you to look at the matters of the heart and realize the heart issues behind the reason they are acting out, getting to the core and breaking it off now. understanding that we (parents) are to view it in the light that ultimately, we are leading our childrens heart to delight in obeying our Heavenly Father, not just to make them act right when it's convenient for us (so humbled by this).
Kaylie's my delight. i find myself just watching her laugh and being so goofy (i don't know where she gets that from) .. it brings so much joy to my soul. i have to put myself in place sometimes, bc i can get so busy and caught up that i miss those things. our favorites are singing as she plays her hot pink acoustic, imagining we're princesses in a castle waiting for our Prince Jesus and bed time stories that she reads to me by the pictures she see's are my favorite. we love to play hide-n-seek all through the house, running from room to room. the priceless bedtime prayers at night, comforting boo boo's and if ever she finds me crying, she always says, "it's okay mommy, Jesus is right here." i then, can't help but smile. oh my sweet kaylie faith. what a precious life God has blessed me with to shepherd and lead her little heart. a little life that matters so much to me and so much more to God, that even when she was in my womb, God himself was watching over her.  

 excited to continue to share all that i'm learning...

kristy

little things you now know

i love anything sweet: nerd ropes are my favorite candy and funfetti cake w/ vanilla icing is my dream cake, always (or maybe strawberry with vanilla..either/or ;).

 i can be a bit indecisive on some decision making

but when it comes to what i believe in, i'm very strong willed.

mmmm.. a good cup of joe is the best.

so in love with the word..it's life to my spirit 

i love to be outside!!.., as long as it's not cold. (can't stand cold weather)

i'm a huge scenery person..i'm captivated by it, it's where i find serenity.

my family is tighly knit.

family gatherings for us revolve around good home cookin' and lots of screaming lil ones :)

i have this creative side to me, that when i slow down.. there's a million things i'd loved to do..

such as.. baking creations, painting, writing, photography and learning to play the piano.

i love to get away and just be.

when i watch movies, i tend to want to accomplish what i see.. such as wanting to hunt for treasure in the deep ocean, or have my own lil flower shop.

my little girl and i have quite the fun together with our princess castle imaginations.

when we go anywhere, we typically hold hands and skip.

i treasure time with dear friends..

leah, our swing/long walk conversations or even over some sweet cream(leah)/cake batter(me) ice cream with health bar on both...

josie, our gut-hurting laughs and your most awful cher impersonations, even better our tribute to all women.. LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD.. dancing, singing, hurled over laughing... (always our time together)...

my dearest sisters,... always full of all kinds of conversations...laughing and poking sisterly fun at the YaYa's, as we call ourselves...

my lovely mom.. still, at 24, i can rest in her arms and still feel so much love and so safe, she is my rock.. at times we've gone round and round, but at the end of the day, it's bc we are so much alike. she's my hero.

oneday, i want to write a book of my life story.. God has done a beautiful redeeming work, that can only be credited to Him and Him alone. He is so faithful. He's always been there.

Jesus is my absolute everything, nothing in this world can ever compare.

 (Luke 7.. she who has been forgiven of much, will love much)

i want to live on purpose, making everyday count for something great.

i want to oneday leave a legacy.

one of my favorite lyrics by Brooke Fraser:

"When the years are showing on my face, and my strongest days are gone. When my heart and flesh depart this place, from a life that sung your song..  You'll still be the One I want, You'll still be the One I want."

Favorite quote, C.S. Lewis

""If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was not made for here."

I want the motivation of my being to be founded and built on love, that way every expression and movement will overflow from that very thing-love.

i want my life to be genuine.

a favorite verse, Matt 5:5 (message)

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought."

matthew 13

What do you make of this? A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn't put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.

Study this story of the farmer planting seed. When anyone hears news of the kingdom and doesn't take it in, it just remains on the surface, and so the Evil One comes along and plucks it right out of that person's heart. This is the seed the farmer scatters on the road.

The seed cast in the gravel—this is the person who hears and instantly responds with enthusiasm. But there is no soil of character, and so when the emotions wear off and some difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it.

The seed cast in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what was heard, and nothing comes of it.

The seed cast on good earth is the person who hears and takes in the News, and then produces a harvest beyond his wildest dreams

..thoughts for today..

i love conversation with people, especially those i know where they've been, then getting to hear/see God's faithfulness to them over and over again. He never fails to amaze me. i value so much the friendships he's given me and the ability to do life with others... getting to embrace one another in suffering and rejoice in one another's blessings- all together. 

i've learned to know that trying times will come, and when they do, it's those times you dig in your heels and keep pressing on- only to find that joy does come in the morning. there will come a point that you will be able to look back and say 'all is well'. when you know the character and love of God, you have an assurance that 'although it's hard, i know Him- He is soveriegn, and i don't understand but i know he does. i trust him.' it's those times that having the word hidden in your heart is so crucial, bc there will come times that you won't have the energy or drive in you to even pick up your bible (i've been there).. but i would hear in my heart.."what the enemy intends for harm, God intends for good.. to accomplish what is now being done." Gen 50:20 and "For i know the plans i have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you , not to harm you. plans to give you hope and a future" Jer 29:11.. "God works all things together for the good for those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose" Rom 8:28..and so on.. it's those times you cling to the promises of God and hold fast to the hope that you believe in.. "it's in those very times, that you can say to the world what you've been trying to say all along, which is, I Believe in Jesus".. we have this anchor of hope that is firm and secure that we can cling to (heb 6:19) .. when everything falls around us, during every life circumstance... i can tell you the anchor is solid, it's steady and it will not let you down. there have been times that i've had to close my eyes and just grip to the cross due to unbearable things.. and looking back now, the One who promises is faithful and He is just to see you through. He always will.

i'm able to stand on the other side of some mountains and i'm able to look back with great joy, not because everything turned out the way i hoped, but bc my God has been faithful to see me through. the joy and love he gives is like nothing else. He is just so good :)

"if we saw the big picture the way God does, we'd make the same decisions He makes"

"It's okay to trust in an unknown future with a known God. A God that Knows You"

I just love that. I love knowing that God see's us right where we are, where we were and where we will be days, months, years from now. I believe He just looks and smiles... saying just wait for what i have in store for you :)

 

 

kristy

....anchor of hope....

We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us.

Heb 6: 18-20 Message

:::::::::::::::::

We who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged...

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

NIV

truly blessed

You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope.

With less of you there is more of God.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you.

Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are

—no more, no less.

That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God.

He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care.

At the moment of being 'care-full,'

you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world..

—your mind and heart—

put right.

Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution.

 The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

...Matt 5:3-10 Message

one of my favorites