Day 22 continues to 23

the past 21 days have absolutely wrecked my life. God is so good. He's taught me so much; probably one of the most surreal "potter-clay molding" moments yet. i feel layed out before the Lord, in complete surrender to Him. every aspect of my life was placed at His feet in complete devotion to Him, saying God it's yours. my heart longs nothing more than the will of my Father. i want to honor and please Him with every part of my being, every area of my life. i committed my finances to Him and through His guidance, i'm building a future for me and Kaylie. so excited, i will be debt free this year!! i'm learning a more frugal way of living, joining in on iheartpublix.com and infamous couponing! my first grocery trip with coupons, i bought $63 worth of groceries, saved $36 and only spent $27!! i left there beaming with excitement (it's the little things). whew, i can do this!

i also am learning to better parent by the perfect parent Himself. Miss Kaylie Faith is coming up on the big 5 in July and her little self has shown quite the attitude (rolling her eyes, "just whatever mom", morning fits about what she's going to where, and oh those "little white lies") Father help me. so much frustration was building in me bc this is the first time i've faced these challenges and i felt like i was failing. for me, in the baby stages... it's natural to feed, nuture, love and cuddle my precious baby girl. my weakness- discipline! i've found myself in moments of desperation wanting to ball my eyes out, saying God what do i do?!  i never complain about being a single mom bc we truly have so much support and love that i know we are beyond blessed! i (we) have a huge support system around us that is rock solid, i have the greatest family ever. with that said, it's hard trying to be both mom and dad. i'm not dad, i'm not meant to be. i have to be the very best version of mommy that i know God's created me to be and allow God to fill the role of Father in her life. i'm reading Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp,. it's a hard read for me bc of the stretching that's taking place but i know that i'm learning so much and the benefits are already showing from that. last night, she came in and got ready for bed, put her dirty clothes in the hamper and her shoes up in her closet, without ever being told!! YES LORD!! (it was rewarding to see, i had such a proud mommy moment).
the book teaches you to look at the matters of the heart and realize the heart issues behind the reason they are acting out, getting to the core and breaking it off now. understanding that we (parents) are to view it in the light that ultimately, we are leading our childrens heart to delight in obeying our Heavenly Father, not just to make them act right when it's convenient for us (so humbled by this).
Kaylie's my delight. i find myself just watching her laugh and being so goofy (i don't know where she gets that from) .. it brings so much joy to my soul. i have to put myself in place sometimes, bc i can get so busy and caught up that i miss those things. our favorites are singing as she plays her hot pink acoustic, imagining we're princesses in a castle waiting for our Prince Jesus and bed time stories that she reads to me by the pictures she see's are my favorite. we love to play hide-n-seek all through the house, running from room to room. the priceless bedtime prayers at night, comforting boo boo's and if ever she finds me crying, she always says, "it's okay mommy, Jesus is right here." i then, can't help but smile. oh my sweet kaylie faith. what a precious life God has blessed me with to shepherd and lead her little heart. a little life that matters so much to me and so much more to God, that even when she was in my womb, God himself was watching over her.  

 excited to continue to share all that i'm learning...

kristy

little things you now know

i love anything sweet: nerd ropes are my favorite candy and funfetti cake w/ vanilla icing is my dream cake, always (or maybe strawberry with vanilla..either/or ;).

 i can be a bit indecisive on some decision making

but when it comes to what i believe in, i'm very strong willed.

mmmm.. a good cup of joe is the best.

so in love with the word..it's life to my spirit 

i love to be outside!!.., as long as it's not cold. (can't stand cold weather)

i'm a huge scenery person..i'm captivated by it, it's where i find serenity.

my family is tighly knit.

family gatherings for us revolve around good home cookin' and lots of screaming lil ones :)

i have this creative side to me, that when i slow down.. there's a million things i'd loved to do..

such as.. baking creations, painting, writing, photography and learning to play the piano.

i love to get away and just be.

when i watch movies, i tend to want to accomplish what i see.. such as wanting to hunt for treasure in the deep ocean, or have my own lil flower shop.

my little girl and i have quite the fun together with our princess castle imaginations.

when we go anywhere, we typically hold hands and skip.

i treasure time with dear friends..

leah, our swing/long walk conversations or even over some sweet cream(leah)/cake batter(me) ice cream with health bar on both...

josie, our gut-hurting laughs and your most awful cher impersonations, even better our tribute to all women.. LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD.. dancing, singing, hurled over laughing... (always our time together)...

my dearest sisters,... always full of all kinds of conversations...laughing and poking sisterly fun at the YaYa's, as we call ourselves...

my lovely mom.. still, at 24, i can rest in her arms and still feel so much love and so safe, she is my rock.. at times we've gone round and round, but at the end of the day, it's bc we are so much alike. she's my hero.

oneday, i want to write a book of my life story.. God has done a beautiful redeeming work, that can only be credited to Him and Him alone. He is so faithful. He's always been there.

Jesus is my absolute everything, nothing in this world can ever compare.

 (Luke 7.. she who has been forgiven of much, will love much)

i want to live on purpose, making everyday count for something great.

i want to oneday leave a legacy.

one of my favorite lyrics by Brooke Fraser:

"When the years are showing on my face, and my strongest days are gone. When my heart and flesh depart this place, from a life that sung your song..  You'll still be the One I want, You'll still be the One I want."

Favorite quote, C.S. Lewis

""If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was not made for here."

I want the motivation of my being to be founded and built on love, that way every expression and movement will overflow from that very thing-love.

i want my life to be genuine.

a favorite verse, Matt 5:5 (message)

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought."

matthew 13

What do you make of this? A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn't put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.

Study this story of the farmer planting seed. When anyone hears news of the kingdom and doesn't take it in, it just remains on the surface, and so the Evil One comes along and plucks it right out of that person's heart. This is the seed the farmer scatters on the road.

The seed cast in the gravel—this is the person who hears and instantly responds with enthusiasm. But there is no soil of character, and so when the emotions wear off and some difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it.

The seed cast in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what was heard, and nothing comes of it.

The seed cast on good earth is the person who hears and takes in the News, and then produces a harvest beyond his wildest dreams

..thoughts for today..

i love conversation with people, especially those i know where they've been, then getting to hear/see God's faithfulness to them over and over again. He never fails to amaze me. i value so much the friendships he's given me and the ability to do life with others... getting to embrace one another in suffering and rejoice in one another's blessings- all together. 

i've learned to know that trying times will come, and when they do, it's those times you dig in your heels and keep pressing on- only to find that joy does come in the morning. there will come a point that you will be able to look back and say 'all is well'. when you know the character and love of God, you have an assurance that 'although it's hard, i know Him- He is soveriegn, and i don't understand but i know he does. i trust him.' it's those times that having the word hidden in your heart is so crucial, bc there will come times that you won't have the energy or drive in you to even pick up your bible (i've been there).. but i would hear in my heart.."what the enemy intends for harm, God intends for good.. to accomplish what is now being done." Gen 50:20 and "For i know the plans i have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you , not to harm you. plans to give you hope and a future" Jer 29:11.. "God works all things together for the good for those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose" Rom 8:28..and so on.. it's those times you cling to the promises of God and hold fast to the hope that you believe in.. "it's in those very times, that you can say to the world what you've been trying to say all along, which is, I Believe in Jesus".. we have this anchor of hope that is firm and secure that we can cling to (heb 6:19) .. when everything falls around us, during every life circumstance... i can tell you the anchor is solid, it's steady and it will not let you down. there have been times that i've had to close my eyes and just grip to the cross due to unbearable things.. and looking back now, the One who promises is faithful and He is just to see you through. He always will.

i'm able to stand on the other side of some mountains and i'm able to look back with great joy, not because everything turned out the way i hoped, but bc my God has been faithful to see me through. the joy and love he gives is like nothing else. He is just so good :)

"if we saw the big picture the way God does, we'd make the same decisions He makes"

"It's okay to trust in an unknown future with a known God. A God that Knows You"

I just love that. I love knowing that God see's us right where we are, where we were and where we will be days, months, years from now. I believe He just looks and smiles... saying just wait for what i have in store for you :)

 

 

kristy

....anchor of hope....

We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us.

Heb 6: 18-20 Message

:::::::::::::::::

We who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged...

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

NIV

truly blessed

You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope.

With less of you there is more of God.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you.

Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are

—no more, no less.

That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God.

He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care.

At the moment of being 'care-full,'

you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world..

—your mind and heart—

put right.

Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution.

 The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

...Matt 5:3-10 Message

one of my favorites

..little tune in my ear...

Take my life I lay it down

At the cross where I am found

All I have I give to You oh God

Take my hands and make them clean

Keep my heart in purity

That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh here I stand

Arms open wide

Oh I am Yours

And You are mine

Take my moments and my days

Let each breath that I take

Be ever only for You oh God

Oh here I stand

Arms open wide

Oh I am Yours

And You are mine

My whole life is Yours

I give it all

Surrendered to Your Name

And forever I will pray

Have Your way

Have Your way

Oh here I stand

Arms open wide

Oh I am Yours

And You are mine